Why Parental Patience with Baptism?

As gospel-believing parents, the greatest desire we have for our children is that they would be saved. We long for them to be confronted with their own sinfulness, to hear and understand the gospel, and then to respond to it in repentance and belief. But how do we know when they are truly saved and ready to be baptized?

The Parable of the Sower in Mark 4:1-20 offers insight into who is inside and outside the kingdom that Jesus is bringing to fruition. Those on the inside are proven by the fruit they produce. This fruit is evidence of the seed of the gospel taking deep root in the good soil that God has prepared. Of the four soils that Jesus describes, the second type of soil, the rocky ground, is a great source of help in answering these questions concerning our children’s salvation.

As the seed of the gospel is sown on rocky ground, it is unable to truly take root. The seed finds a way under the surface of the shallow dirt, but the roots can only go so deep before hitting the rock that is just below. It springs to life quickly–since the growth can’t go down through the roots, it immediately comes up to the surface–but as soon as the sun rises and the heat reaches its leaves, it withers away. What looked like a sprout that could lead to good fruit quickly died because it had no true roots to sustain it.

Jesus tells us that this rocky ground represents those who come to him to receive what they want: healing, exorcism, good teaching, etc. They are enamored by his reputation and receive everything he says with immediate joy, but they still don’t truly hear and understand what his Kingdom is all about. They are all in on Team Jesus until something hard comes along; then because they didn’t truly hear, truly understand, and truly believe, they immediately fall away.

Sadly, this rocky ground represents many who call themselves Christians today, especially in our “Southern Bible Belt” context. Emotional altar calls have led to many false conversions, many repetitions of the sinner's prayer, and many “rededications.” The gospel is preached, emotions are stirred, a response is expected, and then many are told they are saved. They even proclaim themselves to be in Christ, but as soon as life hits with its many tribulations and persecution arises because of their so-called “belief in the Word,” they immediately fall away. What looked on the surface like spiritual life was actually no life at all. The gospel never took deep root because there was nowhere for the roots to go. A little top soil concealed hard rock right underneath. True believing faith was never there, only emotional response, which is not a substitute for life-sustaining faith.

Parents, this is one reason we encourage great patience with your children as you cast the seed of the gospel onto the soil of their hearts. Yes, we want our children to come to know the Lord! Yes, we are eager for them to come soon! But we do not want to affirm as a true profession of faith what may be only an emotional response to the gospel or unintentionally promote a false conversion by rushing our children to the baptismal pool. Our desire is to see that the gospel has taken root, good fruit is being produced, and there is a genuine faith that we can joyfully affirm–not a mature faith, but a genuine faith. It is not perfection or a certain level of spiritual maturity we look for, but instead good soil receiving the gospel seed that produces repentance and belief, obedience to the will of God, and perseverance.

This is why we require testimonies and pastoral meetings before baptism for everyone. It is not to keep children or anyone else from being baptized. It is to do our best to affirm that there is genuine profession of faith and a true understanding of the gospel while also upholding what baptism is and who it is for. We seek to affirm the work of God in the lives of our children and others around us as we see it. A great way to lead your child or encourage a friend who is beginning to truly hear the gospel is to say something like, “I see that the seed of the gospel is being planted in your heart.” Then keep planting the seed of the gospel, and water the soil with prayer, Scripture, good conversations, and other counsel as you watch to see if the gospel is truly taking root and producing good fruit.

We want to walk through the baptism of our children with great pastoral and parental wisdom. While baptismal urgency should accompany a genuine profession of faith, with our children we encourage patience so that we may best be able to affirm a genuine faith. We would love to walk alongside any of you in this.